Quit Twitter : Day 6

Last night I saw beauty and it stole two hours of my sleep. I wrote something about it. I liked it but it also made me a wee bit sad.

So this morning as I woke up and smelled the routine, I listened to Morrissey who works great as an external conduit for melancholy.

Ever feel like you have been given a thin blanket to warm up when you were clearly frozen into some prehistoric peat?

That just after I had read something else that said loneliness is a disease. EVERYTHING IS A DISEASE THESE DAYS.

"are you alone or are you lonely?"
"i am nice, can't wait for that to be declared a disease"

You know how when you are an inexperienced player in Counter Strike and looking through a sniper scope is a risk. You can't switch soon enough for close quarter foes. You can see people coming at you and you know the inevitable is coming at you. But you lumber like a great slow beast and well, die.

"dark words, dark wings"

Dark moods creep up unbidden
in a moment, Mr. Hyde is back in the saddle and all he wants to do is be in charge. That is it. He doesn't want to hurt you. He is an impudent, unpleasant boss and you don't want him telling you what to do.
All you can do is wait.

No silver bullet for that.

Quit Twitter : Day 5

ONLY 5??!!
Feels like a lot more.

Guy from my engineering batch, also was my roomate for some time, got married. I panicked till someone told me he was two years older.

You know how you meet someone who is such a breath of freshness in your citizen kane aspect ratio life that you feel more wes anderson colour scheme? All you want to do is talk to them all the time. All the while worrying about verbal missteps that you might make and sour things up.
All you want is them to john hughes like you. It isn't pretty. It is stupid.

I am not entirely sure quitting twitter has changed anything. I still seek digital distractions a.k.a. mobile phone more than anything else. Mostly because of afore mentioned person being easily accessible via mobile phone. I have made the web browser my new centre of affection. I reload pages hoping for magic.
It is unseemly.

In my enthusiasm, I grossly misjudged the hold my digital demons have on me and I started reading a couple of things. By my estimate, I am reading at least seven nine books right now. Scary thing: I know exactly what is going on in each of them.

cripple. (adj.) (masquerades as noun) a good true word; politically incorrect equivalent of physically handicapped.

Every breath I take
Every move I make
Every bond I break
Every step I take
reminds me.

It is easy to blame this state of my being as the cause of every character flaw I have. It is convenient. Probably untrue. But hey a straw is a straw. I hate to use it to my advantage but I can't really ignore it. I think the real problem is I am in the twilight zone. There is nothing visibly wrong with me and for me that is worse.

In some future/s, when cyborgs are cool and the new hipsters, I will fit in.
Till then I will listen to Daft Punk's latest, Random Access Memories.
INSTANT CRUSH TOUCH CONTACT MOTHERBOARD 

Quit Twitter : Day 4

Back to my kingdom of work. Work shmerk.

It doesn't really interest me anymore. Doesn't feel challenging enough. It was good when it was new but now that I have scaled the learning curve, my interest has waned.

Upstream Colour is not as demanding of attention as Primer was. There is no cerebral plot gymnastics. It is pretty clear what is going on. However, there are several of these that are going on and it is not entirely clear which one is going on.
Is the movie supposed to be a celluloid representation of Nature itself? Has Shane Carruth watched Tree of Life?
I think that everything that is shown is what it is but it is also a part of the internal lifecycle of the worm. Needs more thinking.

Bananas.

Pune weather is currently finer than my taste in life things. Nice cold winds.

Read & Sleep.

Quit Twitter : Day 3

I woke up thinking of the word febrile.

Modern Family is that rare gem of a television show that I hate for its saccharine sweetness and alluring simplicity and then hate myself for hating something for the aforementioned qualities.

Found a musty old folder somewhere in the dark recesses of my teenage mind's angst compartment.
Nativity in Black, a Black Sabbath tribute album Volume 1.
"Supernaut" performed by Ministry side- project 1000 Homo DJs.
"Children of the Grave" by White Zombie seems like something Marilyn Manson copied later.
"Black Sabbath" performed by one of my favourite metal bands of the '90s: Type O Negative. (The iconic three-note riff is done on piano & a nice organ sound near the end.)
"War Pigs" by Faith No More is a live version. "The Wizard" has Rob Halford singing.
"Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath" has Bruce Dickinson.

Ate meat after what feels like ages but actually could be last week.

I think people will still watch Casablanca even when they need to get to meetings in treepods on their jetpacks. It is a timeless pop-cultural milestone.

Isn't it great when lyrics feel like they are made just for you?
"Lying snowblind in the sun / Will my ice age ever come?"

Watched Upstream Colour.