Monday, June 13, 2011

Support Group For Victims Of Science


I am Ian Nicholas Kinski. 
Known to most of you as Mr. Ink. I welcome you to the 2001 AGM of the Support Group For Victims Of Science.

First, I have been asked by the doorkeepers to announce this, ‘The red hoverjet is being towed’.

Okay, now on to business. The formal address will be done later by our guest of honour, The Human Centipede. I am here to say just a few words, impart a modicum of wisdom that age and experience may have granted me.

Last month, an old friend of mine and dear rival – the inimitable Dr. Iron died. He died fighting the fight. There is no good or bad fight and he knew it. He had The Face trapped. He had the upper hand. And yet he lost. Allowed The Face to use that mystical scepter of his and annihilate Dr. Iron and his Fe Males. All because he forgot to set the laser to optimum criterion. Old age! Who can escape it?

Which brings me to my point, tonight. Luck. Yes. That fickle bitch that is supposed to favour the fortunate and the brave. That split second difference between life at Sleeter House and being buried at Donnington Cemetery. We make our own luck. Not just figuratively. A committee is to be set up that shall research and aim to recreate luck. It shall be headed by Dr. Theresa Furnace and Prof. Kornelius. Joining them will be our resident extraterrestrial genius Oh’pee Jay, Dr. Iron’s daughter Maria, The Inventor and myself.

Even though I was forced to collaborate with Rojo and The Buccaneers to foil Lady Hatch’s plans, there is no partnership. All I wanted was the shrink ray blueprints.. which I have now.

You may devise the most fiendish invention. You may build your own potent weather machine. You may construct the ultimate space laser. You may hypnotize a female to seduce one of the supermales. And yet you may fail. Luck may desert you. A loose screw, co-ordinate skew or a lousy shrew may scupper your best laid plans.

You may beat that masked rodeo clown. You may defeat the scourge of the night. You may shrink a sidekick to an ant. You may beat them all. But the last enemy to beat is YOU. Yes, you. You must be strong. Never given to the physical You. Do not let emotions dictate Your behavior. Do not let feelings for the hero’s girlfriend cloud your focus. Beat compassion and mercy out of You.

And yet nothing beats, my mamma’s fried chicken. Thank you.

[From the Annual General Meeting of the Support Group For Victims Of Science or as the news calls it ScienceVillain Union]

Saturday, June 4, 2011

My Superhero

It is all the little things.

The flowers arranged a particular way. The curtains moving even when there is no wind. The finger print on the bathroom mirror. The golden hair on the pillow next to me.

I am the face of The News at 5. Which as you can see is not The News at 7. Someday I will fill those giant shoes that will be left by Amy Kinney. She has large feet but really nice shoes.

So, the thing I was talking about. 
I have a stalker. I am not freaking out. I mean, these days everyone likes some invasion of privacy. And if you knew who my stalker is, you would want him to invade yours too. 
Curious? I found out on my birthday. There was a card lying right next to me on my bed. Usual happy birthday stuff. Signed Mercury. I had it verified by a friend I have.

It was HIM. Mercury. The Golden Speedster. Granted the powers of super-humanesque speed by the Greek Gods. He had golden hair. Blue eyes, square jaw, the amulet of the Gods around his neck. The media had made it out as if he and Amy Kinney had a special connection. 
But I had myself a super stalker. This was the perfect way to move up the timeslot ladder.

One day I got home a little late and found hot pork chops on the dinner table. Another day, a tub of ice cream with a chocolate sauce Mercury written on it. A hot bath someday, a nice flower on some another. It was all going nicely.

Then one day the MOAT people showed up. Claimed that I was a ‘bad influence’. They searched the house. They found Grade 6 Category C banned substances in my house. In. My. House.

It was all a haze. I never understood much. The processing was a blur. Everything was. 
Like when Mercury runs at that divine speed of his.

I wrote to him. He never wrote back. I tried telling those agents. No one believed me.

Then Amy Kinney showed up. She explained how the network bosses were planning to move me to the News at 7 slot and how it was necessary for her to get me out of the picture and how she has Mercury hooked onto some drug that only she has access to. 
That is how she trapped me.

Help me.
                                                                                                                                       Veronica Lane

[All communication shall be addressed to The Arbitrator, Sleeter House For Those Beyond Help, Waldonis.]

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Time


Pieces and bits collected from the expedition journal.

Muriel Francis Gerrick writes:
I miss you. Mother.
I wish Father would see that. He drags me around to meet all these people. Smile, dress sharp, smile. Dr. Robert Gerrick, adventurer extraordinaire. Needs money to finance his forays into the unknown. Look at his happy kid. Look at how he has raised her single-handedly. Now, give him the money so he can drag her to some cold and barren place and engage in his scientific pursuits.

Dr. Gerrick writes:
The mountain looms upon us. We reached the base yesterday. Under the watchful eyes of a sickle moon. Osmond, dashing fellow and a geologist of some renown joins us. Peters, a local interpreter  rounds the team. Tonight we rest.

The weather seems to be taking a turn for the worse. I sneaked a page out of Father’s notes. He talks less to me, day by day. I can make out nothing from it. There is a word underlined on it. I can’t read it. Some kind of ancient scrawl.
It is stifling. The dark presses on me. My legs hurt from the running. I can’t see where I am running to. Suddenly the land under my feet gives way, I fall. Yet, it does not feel like I am falling. Then it happens. The darkness pervades me. It forces itself inside me. It covers my body and its grubby fingers grope for my face. But, then I wake up.
Father was standing over me. He hauled me roughly to my feet. I dared not question him; such was the fury in his eyes. Something dreadful had happened.
As we walk on, I realize that Peters is not with us. Personally, I couldn’t care less. 
I tried reading the page again. It bored me and the weather wanted me to sleep. The letters seemed odd. It was almost like they wanted me to speak them out loud. That is all I remember. When I woke up, I was being carried on a gurney by the two slaves. I pretend to be asleep. I hear snatches of talk between Osmond and Father. I try listening more. One of the slaves realizes I am awake and signals to Father. He glances at me and the discussion dies.
Everything looks gray here. I never really found out what happened to Peters. I see the word in my dream again. It seems real. I try to touch it but It moves out of my reach. 
This time I do not fall.
The cave is huge. We do not need to walk far. Even by the light of the slowly fading day, the thing can be seen. It stands upright. It is a mere stone. I go for a closer look, hoping to find something of significance. Osmond confirms what has broken my heart.
Osmond wants to run some tests on it. I leave him at it. I shouldn’t have lost that page. It was torn off from a tribe’s compendium. That is all I know. With Peters gone, there is no way I can get these locals to talk.

This rough data is gathered from one of the local slaves

Gerrick woke up in the middle of the night. Osmond was missing. Muriel ran in after Father. Osmond was lying on the ground, shrieking like a madman. Father touched him and was taken aback at how cold he felt. Muriel looked at the purple rock. There was something alive about it. Muriel was transfixed. Osmond was beyond help. He sat up now, muttering again and again. It was necessary to get Muriel away from there and as far away as possible. Father grabbed her and ran. He looked behind but there was nothing. Osmond made no attempt to get up.
Sorry bastard. The elements would kill him. But not soon enough.

I ran and stumbled in the dark. Something cut me, I could feel warm blood oozing down my cheek. I made it safely to the camp. He had laid Muriel down and checked her for fever. She was as cold as Osmond. I used the transmitter and sent the distress signal to the base camp. I prayed silently for them to make it here in time.


Muriel’s mouth was moving, forming words. Dr. Gerrick moved closer to listen. There was no sound. He tried reading her lips but in her delirium, she was speaking to fast. He held his daughter’s head in his hands and looked into her eyes. He must have read the word in her eyes. I knew what would happen. I ran.

The page :

The mountain. It was the center of an ancient kingdom. The gods were angry and wanted to punish the land of the mountain. So, they sent it to the peak. It was not of this world. It did not understand the ways of men. It was to men as men were to ants. Powerful yet inconsequential. It existed across time. A speck of existence divided over centuries, perhaps. It could manifest in different places. It could very easily transcend most physical boundaries as a human could stamp on an ant. But the ants have no idea of what a human is. In the same way, it did not regard this universe.

It could be and not be at the same time. Exist simultaneously across eras. Showing up in points of time. It flexed one of his great hands, there was a flood in the East and there was hail in the West. The North and the South were mere points on a line for it. So it would grow and the humans would not be aware of it as their frail mortal minds could never wrap themselves around the concept. They could see the destruction and they had questions to ask. But they never knew when to ask them.

The Gods, as is their nature to meddle with things that outweigh them in importance, decided that it had to be stopped. They knew that the being could never be restrained. So, they fashioned a cross for the thing to bear. 
A corporeal existence it must have if it is to exist at all. But the price for creation, was destruction itself.

Confidential Report :

The locals have been debriefed. All priors are investigated. This is accessible on a code 4 clearance.
Osmond had apparently impaled himself on one of the sharper rocks. Peters was never found. Muriel was rescued by the search party. She was taken to the general hospital and declared a vegetable. Her Father, Dr. Gerrick was found near the mouth of the cave. Foam lined his mouth, his eyes were a pulpy mass. They had bust due to internal pressure. There was no semblance of a brain in Gerrick.

He was found lying on his back, his shirt torn open, a bloodied knife in his hand and a single word carved on his chest. 

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Irony

"all in the game..." - Traditional, West Baltimore

Sunday:

“Stop resisting. It will be over soon.” He continued strangling the woman lying on the kitchen floor. The woman was dead. The man was making sure she was. He pretended to not notice the sharp tip of her umbrella, lodged in her. He gave up soon and walked into the living room.
The man wore a tweed jacket. It had Monday engraved on the lapel. He was called Monday. He glanced at his watch. It was about time someone showed up. He picked up his sawed off shotgun, poured some Scotch and sat in the chair, infront of the door.

Friday:

Monday was up on the roof of a brown brick. His binoculars focused on the park opposite. Kids ran in circles. Parents pretended that they were in control. Some conversed. His gaze sought out one man. Aquiline noise, sharp eyebrows, olive skin. Red jacket and a copy of Moby Dick in his hands. This one was called Bensharif for some reason. They all had names. Bensharif was not here with a kid. He was here to pick one up. Bensharif preyed on the little ones. Monday was not here to judge. He was here to plan. Bensharif would leave in half an hour. The route was tracked, the exits were marked. He would take him in the proverbial dark alley.

Wednesday:

Annie was a writer. She always had a pen with her. The pen was her. She was such a sweet soul. Monday never wanted to kill her. He had stalked her to the supermarket and seen her be nice to all the people there. Like a bottle of bottled sunshine. Bright, warm but never quite free. He had waited at her house patiently while she was out on one of her supermarket trips. He hid inside her closet. When she came back, he surprised her. With violent death.

Thursday:

The sky was yellow. The air reeked of pleasure derived from pain. Loco was a special man. He hurt people 
to make them happy. They even paid him for it. Monday never understood that concept. He did not get pleasure. Giving it was out of question. Loco was a big man who could take care of himself. But, Loco liked wearing his mask too much. And, Loco liked his boy toy Andre even more. All Monday had to do was hold Andre hostage. Loco came rushing in. Monday threw Andre aside and pumped a shot into Loco.

Tuesday:

He loved her brooch. It was delicate, effeminate yet so powerful in its simplicity. He liked her the best out of the seven. Mercy she was called. Did not ask for it even once. She was dying anyway. The injection did her in. As silent in death as in life, when her husband had beat her. Sometimes, close enough to feel death standing near. She was in a happy place now. He took the brooch. He shouldn’t have.

Saturday:

Stripes. Cop. Mean. Twirling his lighter. Stripes was investigating a series of murders across town. None of them connected to each other. Stripes was a good cop. He did his job, was only as dirty as everyone else. Stripes ate pork sandwiches, drank beer and shot some pool. He went home to a wife and a kid. He abused his wife and whacked his kid around. Even, broke the kid’s hand once.
He found a dead hotdog vendor that day, a bottle of gin inserted into his innards.


Stripes caught a homicide call late on Tuesday night. Mercy had cancer and a history of domestic violence. The brooch was missing. He had a photo of the brooch. The next day, he got Annie too. Annie, the writer, who drowned her own kid in the pool and wrote about it. She got money. She was found in her bathtub with thin perforations in her lungs. Dead as her dead kid. He would have usually dismissed the murder of a local thug as a gang shooting. But, the state the witness Andre was found in made him suspicious. Registered sex offender Bensharif was stabbed in the alley next to the park where Stripes had to take his kid the next day. He saw the man with the brooch running. He stared transfixed at the falling body and rose to action only when he heard mothers scream. The man had moved out of recollection by then. On his way home, on Saturday, Stripes found the dead guy near the police department. This was starting to get out of hand. Sunday when he heard noise of a scuffle between his neighbor Marge and a visitor, he grabbed his gun and decided to pay her a visit.


Monday:

The moment Stripes opened the door, Monday shot. Trust Stripes to not die so easily. He managed to get a shot off. He felt nothing initially. Feeling returned and realization dawned.

He had won the game. He was now free. He had finally managed to beat them all. He was better than all of them. @luckybroochm, @penannie, @maloco, @bensharif7, @atomichobo, @umbrellarge, @stripes 
were beaten.

The game was beaten. He was free. Dead on a Monday.