survival jam, I

when i saw you stagger through the door, bradshaw
"honey, grab the baseball bat, i'll grab the chainsaw"
i sliced through your soft decaying head like bread
i tore through your guts and your blood flowed red

---

you died on christmas day and came back to me with a ravenous hunger
you never liked my cooking and now you wanted to eat it and
i was surprised
but then you started eating everything and i mean everything
moth balls
the linen
photos
my favourite shoes
the sofa
but when you went for dog i said enough and i meant it
i am sorry for this but i don't think any of us wanted this
[well that is not entirely true because i have always wanted this since i was little]
but you never shed tears when I got hurt and
you made promises that there would be no more hurt
oh the promises! oh the lies!
we couldn't come to the play because your uncle henry ate your aunt beth,
i mean how could you
lie
you could have just told me the truth and i would have understood
for in my mind i did love you
but now you have broken the tv and for that you must be punished
the basement is not such a bad place to hang
and there's some of my older writing in there
somewhere if you want to read it now but
you never read it back then so i don't know
why you would read it now
i like a guy and he is coming over and
i am going to cook for him and
i will not have you moaning under my roof
i hate to say this but
mom and dad you are grounded

---

1. when faced with a choice between wolves and the hungry, feed the wolves.
2. learn basic anatomy so that you can protect important bodily shit like the river jugular.
5. it is okay to lose an arm.
3. moisturise.
6. forget language and forget that bitch judy
5. there is no reason to hate yourself.
8. if you need to sever your appendages use clean and sharp instruments unless you want to die of tetanus or gangrene.
11. judy is not coming back by thinking about her like she was your mumtaz, or your mustang, or your theory of relativity.
9. you are not going anywhere for a while so might as well learn a language.
10. learn to ask for help in that language.
12. it is okay to pretend that everything is gonna be okay.
13. pretending might save you.
4. be organized, it is not the end of the world.

--

dear,

it is evening and i feel sorry
you are pregnant like a lorry
the house was on fire
maybe someone was a liar
i came to steal some money
i heard you had a pony
there is no way to say this
i had to leave you, miss
you were bound to the pillar
your babe was crying
it had burst forth
hungry for something
i could never
provide

--

do not share any of your information
remember your full name
if you forget it, create one
inscribe it everywhere
remember your loves
carve them on your flesh
talk to yourself lest you forget speech
retain bone structure / organs as far as you can
don't drag skeletons around

Real Spammers Don't Reply, Mr. 27bslash6

Payment Purpose: Inheritance Fund Release
Payment Value: $5,500,000.00 dollars
Authorized Paying Bank: Union Bank of Nigeria
Transaction Reference Code: UBN/KTT/27890/0000/002
Payment Approval Date:21/9/2012

Dear Beneficiary,

My name is DR. JOHN EZE. I am the newly appointed Director Union Bank
Of Nigeria and the 10th Director of the Union Bank of Nigeria. I
assumed duty as Director, Union Bank of Nigeria on June 4, 2012 at the
Bank's Corporate Head Office in Abuja following the confirmation of my
nomination by the Senate of the Federal Republic of Nigeria on
Wednesday, June 3, 2012.

However, acting in my capacity as the newly-appointed Director of the
(UBN), I have been mandated by the Senate National Assembly to check
through the statutory disk of every payment pending during the last
quarter of the year. Hence, your payment file has been forwarded to my
desk for final approval. Therefore, after vetting and verification
about the source and origin of your funds, I am convinced 100% that
the $5,500,000.00 dollars part payment is a legitimate
contract/inheritance claim. Hence, I have granted approval for the
release of the $5,500,000.00 dollars in your favor.

Note: That a charges of $120dollars must be paid for this transaction
to take place in your bank, for your fund to be release in our bank
here in NIGERIA this said fee must be paid,you are paying for the releasement
of your fund in your home country, do not be afraid of any thing as we provide
you all
the decument that back-up this fund in our bank here in NIGERIA, once you
comply with us your fund will be in safe hands in our bank.

For this reason, your payment has been rightfully approved and will be
paid out directly into your bank account via "automatic swift
transfer" from our Electronic transfer unit. Already,all transfer
processing has been concluded in line with the new (UBN) Payment
Policy.

However, on the note of receiving your inheritance funds, you are
requested to forward the details of your receiving bank account; You
are to send us your bank account details for immediate wire transfer
of your funds. Your bank details should include:

FULL NAME:
ACCOUNT NAME:
ACCOUNT NUMBER:
BANK NAME:
BANK ADDRESS:
NAME OF NEXT OF KIN:
ADDRESS OF NEXT OF KIN:
PHONE NUMBER:
BENEFICIARY ADDRESS:
OCCUPATION:

You are to forward the required information above and other available
bank account information like your PAN number to me via the contact
information below. Please call me immediately for more details.


Contact Information:
Director Union Bank Of Nigeria
Name:....Mr John Eze.
Telephone:.... +234-815-778-6945   +234-816-986-6162
E-mail of head office in lagos...johneze_unionbnkplc109@cafuc.net


Contact Information:
fund transfer officer
Mrs Joy Chris Efe
E-mail of branch at work:.. johneze_unionbnkplc007@cafuc.net
Telephone:.... +234-810-741-5899  +234-817-973-9145


I am expecting to receive your earliest reply and details of your
receiving bank account as well as a copy of any of your available ID
proof (National ID card,Voter's ID, Driver's liscense, PAN card or any
recognized company/working ID card) for identification. Your fund will
be transfered to your bank account details provided within 2 hours
after we receive it.

Yours Sincerely,
DR. JOHN EZE
Director Union Bank Of Nigeria
P.S: Please note that all other authorities handling your payment has
been stopped by the FBI. Hence, the (UBN) has been appointed as the
sole authority in-charge of your fund release. Therefore, you are
advised to stop further communication with any other office or
financial institution handling your payment.

----------------------------------------------------------------
This message was sent using IMP, the Internet Messaging Program.

***

Subject: Re: PAYMENT NOTIFICATION OF YOUR FUNDS.
From: <hilink6@gmail.com>
To: johneze_unionbnkplc109@cafuc.net.basu.ac.ir
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=f46d043c7de46c6c2304ca8005d6

Dear DR. JOHN EZE,

Firstly congratulations on being newly appointed as Director Union Bank
Of Nigeria and the 10th Director of the Union Bank of Nigeria.

I am pleased to hear that my file has finally reached your
desk for final approval. That poor file has gone through a lot. It's mama
was an alcoholic and papa was a rolling stone. Also, thanks for granting
your approval. I must confess that the sum of $5,500,000.00 dollars seems
rather too much for one man [I am assuming that these are American dollars
and not Nigerian dollars].

Hence, I would like you to transfer half of that to Mr. Bill Gates'
foundation. He is a great friend of mine and he would be pleased with a
little help from his friends.

Regarding the rest, I am afraid that I cannot pay the charge of $120
dollars for this transaction
to take place in your bank. I assure you I am not afraid of any but I do
not have this money now. I had it a while back but I do not have it now.
I can pay you after you pay me. I can in fact double your money through
another friend of mine who has discovered the secrets of the south american
money god Ponzi. Do you know of him? He is very potent and I personally
guarantee a large fortune.

My passport has been confiscated but it is just a misunderstanding I tell
you. I go by the name "Count of Monte Cristo" and they think that it is not
my name. I can not call you immediately for more details as ISD is not
enabled on my phone. I also do not have a phone.

I am expecting to receive your earliest reply.

Yours Sincerely,