Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Where The Trolls Dwell


[This may seem like it is plagiarized, but it is not. TRUST ME.]


For Mathematicians and Japanese mega monsters


A smooth rumor is rising
From the heart of the internet
Reverberations of the thing
I can hear in my heart


The call is distinct
The fight of the cowardly
I linger over it
It just keeps me alive


I met the troll
In a forum by the internet
Now I bring the evidence
The dolt is alive


This faceless army
Will strike from behind masks
And then a prey will fall
And cry for mercy


But I grow angry
Cannot stand the wait
And I start to take digs
At them


In this region of data
A great troll is lying
On the wealth of a search engine
My own ignorance inside


I saw
I saw trolls
And I
And I started to take digs at them
When I
When I turn my back on them
They do not interest me
In this region of data
A troll is lying there
Awake
Monster
Do not scorn them
But do not fear them
Above all do not feed them
Muster
Muster some sense
Trolls are the cowardice alive
In the heart of men

Monday, April 18, 2011

Return Of The Footmouth


[This may seem like it is plagiarized, but it is not. TRUST ME.]


For Bigmouth, may he strike again and again


(funky bass riff opening)


Dear, Dear I was only kidding 
when I said her top looks hot, 
when You asked me why I was staring


Dear, Dear I was only joking 
when I said that your ass doesn't look thin, 
when You asked me if it looked fattening


Dear, Dear I was only jesting
when I said that you are the only one
when you asked me if you were annoying


Dear, Dear I was only fooling
when I said that I would
when you asked me to go dying


(chorus once)


And now I know how Newton felt 
when the apple hit him on the head
and his hearing aid fell


And now I know how Asterix felt
when Obelix accidentally sat on him
and his moustache fell


(drum solo)


Me and my mouth, 
Me and my foot,
My foot in my mouth. (x3)

Friday, April 15, 2011

My Tech Support Lady

[This may seem like it is plagiarized, it is not. TRUST ME.]


For Jemaine Clemaine and Bret McClegnie, Leaders of Men.


Hello, Hello, Tech Support Lady.
Everyday I looked across the cubicle and there you were, talking with that Ajeet
with your hair in a tight bun, and your bun ..in a tight hairnet
Tech Support Lady whose name I don't know, Hello Hello.


They tell me that you are gone
I'll never see you here for plugging in my pc
which I had disconnected to get you in here
...for plugging in my pc
Wish you knew how much I loved you
and your legs
and your slightly hairy ....hands.


Tech Support Lady, with those fake Rayban glasses
Tech Support Lady whose name I don't know, Hello Hello.


They tell me your name was Tina
I'll never see you here touching my ...mouse
and my tea-stained keyboard and my ...printer
which was jammed by my ....favourite pen-pencil
Wish you knew how much I loved you
and your hips
and your cheap ....lipsticked lips.


(intense inspired solo)


I'll never get, I'll never get to see you handle my ....power chord,
I'll never get to share another cup of tea with your ...photo,
I'll never get to tell you how much I miss your scented ...handkerchief,
I'll never get to dream about our photocopy room ...encounter.


(harmonizing)


Tech Support Lady, with the Fashion Street bag
Tech Support Lady whose name I don't know, Goodbye.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

02.04.2011

I went out and hugged random people.


I never do that. I have problems with being touched. Tonight, I dropped all inhibitions. I was happy and I showed it.

Of course a word for the team. Well played.


Yuvraj's shot had 'le bhencho' written over it.  Gambhir, you crazy mofo. Crafted innings.
Dhoni, resounding six. Expression #likeafuckinboss.

One very loud, ''Tujhya aaicha touch n gho.'' was shouted on the street. There was a high risk of me cussing loudly in the living room. With, the winning six, we did not just win. We broke down a barrier. We tore down the iron curtain and seized control with our powerful backhands and impeccable timing. A sound was heard all around.

Like a tracerbullet, that my friends is the sound of victory.

Congratulations. We hit rock bottom in 2007. The memories have been wiped out.
We have listened to our parents going on about 1983. We will make our kids listen about 2011.
For Sachin and the Whole Team, for that crazy painted guy, for the girls with the banners and for anyone who  has lived here since 1983.
2011 is our 1983.   


Wellofcourse, In the immortal words of Fergie, whom Yuvraj quoted "Tonight's Gonna Be A GoodNight!"