The Internet Rules IV - Random

"But we have soothed ourselves into imagining sudden change as something that happens outside the normal order of things. An accident, like a car crash. Or beyond our control, like a fatal illness. We do not conceive of sudden, radical, irrational change as built into the very fabric of existence. Yet it is."


So said Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park, the book. The movie did leave a strange impact on me. Left me with a desire to know more. Left me with a hankering of history. Left my mother to deal with a lawn dug up by a hyperactive kid.


This edition, and there hasn't been one for a while is random. Just randomly random things I came into possession of through random agencies and random actions.


#1. The Theory Of Relativity: Nicely explained here.

#2. Art: Humanity, express thyself !

#3. The Internet: Humanity, DON'T express thyself !

#4. Life: It will find a way.

#5. Cake: Because.

A Lister

Like most people worth their blog, I am publishing a list. Yes. But, of 10 words inspired by people this year.
These are completely my opinions. 
They do not reflect any organization's beliefs. Nor my family's beliefs. 
Friends, maybe.


Here goeth, in no particular order -


Baba Ramdev, verb


meaning - to put your foot in your mouth, figuratively. Literal application provides bonus points.


usage - When she comes up to talk to him, Raj does a Baba Ramdev and ends up leaving quickly.

also: Thesaurus suggests Shilpa Shetty.
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Bdutt, verb


meaning - compromise on integrity for some purpose and then defend it like a blind fool


usage - You wouldn't hesitate to go all Bdutt on me if I ever accused you of sleeping with her.

also: Can be used with CNN.
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di Caprio, verb


meaning - to change so much over a period of time that people don't even believe it

usage - She has really pulled a di Caprio at that rehab center, even her parents find it difficult to recognize her.

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Palinize, reverb


meaning - confusion leading to mixing words to create new words; also, to be generally stoopid.


usage - She Palinized the essay by writing that the crowd should maintain dequorum.

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Digvijing, verb


meaning - theorize conspiracies and have a chronic habit of spreading lies


usage - She is so good at Digvijjing that she made her boyfriend think it was like his fault and all.

also - The word seems to be related to Kalmadify.
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Walesian, adjective


meaning - to mount an overtly aggressive campaign while putting up a passive public face


usage - This new cellular company has decided to launch a Walesian ad strategy to beg for subscribers.

also - Yahoo! could be used as a swear-word in such sentences.
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Holbrooke, noun

meaning - find a solution for long standing tedious problems

usage - That old IT head is a regular Holbrooke. Pity to see him retire.

also - see Obamanate, claim great credit for doing virtually nothing.
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Sonia, noun


meaning - say the right words but not mean anything


usage - He speaks like a Sonia. Just saying the right hollow words, without any real substance.


also - see Manmohan.
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Assanged, verb

meaning - prosecuted for something when you are actually meant to be prosecuted for something else

usage - My friend totally got Assanged; was stealing paper from work for a long time, but he got busted last 

week while whisking a stapler.

also - Assange, noun: to look like a Bond villain.

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Saching, ?

meaning - make small values or incidents into epic events of epicness; be generally great at something

usage - The marketing head is really good at Saching the numbers.

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That is it from me.

I got something wrong? You got something else? Something you wanna confess? Something you wanna curse? Drop a comment. I promise not to bite. 

The Internet Rules III - Top 00001010

10 of the most noteworthy incidents on the Internet from this past year. 2010 has been very interesting.

If you’re an avid Web user, you are bound to recognize several of them.

Let’s get started. Each event has a link associated with it. Click to learn more.

Wikipedia’s Jimmy Wales #facepalm #fail campaign

WordPress.com’s big-blog crash

Google's privacy bloopers

China Vs. the Internet

Twitter’s Whale worries

Facebook’s movie

BPGlobalPR

Paypal’s problems

Tumblr’s tumble

The Wikileaks drama is without a doubt the Internet incident of the year.

Hopefully 2011 will be a less eventful year, but I wouldn’t count on it.

The Internet Rules II - Facts

This blog post is brought to you by Jesus H. Christ. You can find him here.


"You can't handle the truth!" As Jack Nicholson shouts, rather loudly, in A Few Good Men.

Facts. They are everywhere. Either You hate them or you barely tolerate them. No one really likes them. Contrary to popular belief, the internet is not just a bundle of lies. It is not even this box.
It has facts strewn all over the place. Only a troll knows, where to find them.

Before I start sounding like Charlie Sheen at an open-bar gala, I'll let the Facts speak for themselves.

#1. The Week - It has always been like this.

#2. Doom - Still Awesome

#3. Posturing - On the Internet, it can get you a few lols.

#4. People - They Suck. Bottomline

#5. Minds - They are pretty predictable. Or so my mind *must* be thinking

Have You Been Bogging Lately?

More like Why Aren't You BOGGING? 

 How can you become a better Bogger? <I actually mean the equivalent of ''a person who bugs'' but I cannot use the word for obvious reasons>

1. Use a catchy title.
Make the title unique, consider using questions and lists.
Like ''79 ways to be nothing but an annoying nuisance on the Internet''

2. Use interesting visuals.
Include an image or video in your blog. This will get people’s attention and help them better understand the content of your blog. Like this one

3. Include links. Links add depth and credibility to your articles and allow you to show a little ‘link love’.

4. Use bullets, italians, and bold font. This makes for an easier read. Using bold font allows the reader to quickly scan your post.  

• And nothing says in your face better than BOLD FONT

5. Let your personality come through. This is what makes your blog unique. :[

6. Make blogs short, otherwise your reader might take one look at your post and bolt. If you choose to make your blog post long, consider breaking your blog into parts or use bold font to highlight the main points of the blog.
Short & fun like James Joyce' Ulysses.

7. Reference your articles. If you use other people’s work, include a reference or link to their article.
I plagiarized this whole thing from here.

8. Be interesting and have fun. LOL.

9. Encourage comments. Engage your reader and develop a relationship with them. This can be as simple as ending your post with a question.

10. Be bold. This might take the form of being outrageous or controversial. I hate MJ.

11. Post tags. This will help your readers find you.

12. Respond to comments as soon as possible. Treat your reader like a friend.
If your friend calls you and leaves a message, do you wait days to respond? YES, I DO

13. Make your blog post easy to share. This may include adding widgets such as Tweet, Reddit, Delicious, Stumble Upon, etc. Clog up someone else's news stream for a change.
Ridiculously small buttons with colors and a teeny letter.

14. Post frequently.

15. Promote your blog. This involves posting your posts to bookmarking sites, such as Stumble Upon and Delicious. Use Facebook and Twitter or other virtual communities such as LinkedIn and Craigslist (really?).

Dear reader, what other social ostracism have you been subject to?

The Internet Rules I - Characters

Recent attempts at being funny have been well-received. By Martians & residents of Middle Earth, the society next door. It is actually a colony for miners.
Before these jokes go even more downhill, let us go meet the contenders for internet pic of the week.

This blog post is brought for ye gentle lads, from the cavernous pits of the Internet, by Captain Haddock. You can say thanks here.

A brief intro- These unsung heroes need their due. The internet might love Leo, Cats or Gaga but I love these. So, give it up for..

#1. R2D2: The single most important character in the Star Wars saga. Yes, even more so than Darth Vader or Bobba Fett.

#2. Strong Sad: Epitomises my philosophy on most days of the calender. This however does not apply on Leap year years.

#3. Gordon Freeman: Half-Life.While we have Cybernetic Super soldiers, Silent assassins & Mythic warriors as protagonists, this man perseveres for Science.

#4. Marvin the Paranoid Android: Hums Pink Floyd's Shine on You Crazy Diamond when depressed. Very cool. I'll miss him.

#5. Alastor Moody: What can I say? The bad-ass-est character from the Harry Potter series. Usually friendly but can turn you into a ferret.

10 Signs that You Are a Douchebag. Yes, You!

1. You spend most of your time online correcting spelling errors without ever contributing anything substantive to the conversation.

2. You ask for the 'manager' when you realize the 8Rs. vada pav you ordered has a hair in it.

3. The hair in the aforementioned vada pav is your own. You owe your luxuriant locks to the latest fad in the cosmetic industry.

3. You comment on Facebook status updates before reading the entire post. And you always begin comments with LOL.

4. You keep complaining about how there is nothing to watch on TV, yet the only programs you do watch are CID and Rahul ka Swayamvar.

5. You are Rahul.

6. You are on TV. The Lead in the latest Saas Bahu cryathon.

7. You wear sunglasses indoors, and at night.

8. You drive a Phorun car but never have enough money to get a full tank of gas. 

9. There is no room in your Phorun car because it is full of speakers. And these speakers drive the car by creating eardrum shattering resonant vibrations.

10. And when your speakers do this, Your neck moves back and forth & You go 'dhup-chik dhupchik dhup-chik..'

Top 10 lists - You Know A Wizard

Top ten signs You Know A Wizard -

10. He does not normally enter a room through the door.

9. You say,"Do you think your assignments are going to write themselves?" and then They DO.

8. He gets busted 'prospecting' for snowy owls.

7. Has the word 'lumos' written under the light switch

6. His favorite excuse is that "his hippogriff ate his assignment".

5. Everytime he walks into an electronic store, the toaster tries to mount the oven.

4. He collects plugs.

3. He loves talking to friends on the 'fellytone'.

2. He wears shiny red satin robes - Let's just hope he is just a wizard.

1. You hear him talk about polishing his wand in the bathroom.

Top 10 lists - I Want To Go To There

#1: Bombay Duck
 
The Bombay duck or bummalo (Marathi: bombil) is, despite its name, not a duck but a fish. It is native to the waters between Mumbai (formerly Bombay) and Kutch in the Arabian Sea, and a small number are also found in the Bay of Bengal.

The story goes that the train compartments of the Bombay Dak (in English, the Bombay Mail) would smell of the fish, consequently leading the British to euphemistically refer to the peculiar smell as the "Bombay Dak".

#2: Marathon

After defeating the Persians at the battle of Marathon, a town in southern Greece, the Athenians sent a messenger to run the 25 miles back home.
According to legend, he delivered the news and then dropped dead.

Marathons became 26 miles, 385 yards at the 1908 Games in London when extra yards were added so the race would finish in front of the royal box.


#3: Bungalow

A bungalow is a type of single-story house that originated in India.
The word derives from the Gujarati બંગલો baṅgalo, which in turn derives from the Hindi  बंगला baṅglā, meaning "Bengali" and used elliptically for a "house in the Bengal style". 

Such houses were traditionally small, only one story and thatched, and had a wide veranda.

#4: Sodomy

For the sins of their inhabitants Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah and Zeboim were destroyed by "brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven."

The story has therefore given rise to words in several languages, including the English word "sodomy," a term used today predominantly in law (derived from traditional Christian usage) to describe non-vaginal intercourse, as well as bestiality, and homosexuality.


#5: Tequila

Developed in Mexico in the 16th century, this was probably the first distilled alcoholic beverage created in North America.
It's made from the fermented juice of the Mexican agave plant.

Some of the best was – and still is – made in the town of Tequila

#6: Mocha

What would urban existence be without café mocha? It is typically one third espresso  and two thirds steamed milk, but a portion of chocolate  is added, typically in the form of sweet cocoa powder, although many varieties use chocolate syrup.

Café mocha takes its name from the Red Sea coastal town of Mocha, Yemen, which as far back as the fifteenth century was a dominant exporter of coffee, especially to areas around the Arabian Peninsula.

#7: Glasgow Smile

A Glasgow smile (also known as a Glasgow grin, Anna grin, Chelsea grin or Chelsea smile) is a nickname for the result of cutting a victim's face from the edges of the mouth to the ears. The cut – and the scars it leaves – form an extension of what resembles a smile. The practice originated in the Scottish  city of Glasgow, which gave it its name.

The Batman villain Joker, Fight Club's narrator and Slipknot guitarist James Root are enthusiasts.

#8: Tuxedo

Sometimes called a "monkey suit," its origins involve the wolf. Here's why:
In the 1880s the village of Tuxedo Park, about 50 miles north of Manhattan, became a popular resort. It was here that some young men, disregarding the fashion of the day, began to wear dinner jackets without tails.

The new style was soon called the tuxedo.
And the name of the town? It comes from a Native American word meaning wolf.

#9: Bikini

In July 1946, the United States detonated two nuclear bombs at the Bikini atoll, an island in the South Pacific, which of course was big news around the world.
A year later, a French fashion designer introduced a scanty two-piece bathing suit and named it the bikini.

Unable to find a model immodest enough to wear it, he debuted it on a stripper – and it too became big news.

#10: Lesbian

Originally, lesbian simply meant "from Lesbos," the Greek island pictured here.

Its current sense comes from the ancient poet Sappho, who lived on Lesbos around 600 BC and wrote poems that dealt with the relationships – sometimes passionate – between women.

Top 10 lists - Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

#1: Haphephobia

What it is: A morbid fear of being touched.

Word history: Haptein is a Greek word that means to fasten (that is, to bring two things together).

Bonus points: Haptics is the English word for "a science concerned with the sense of touch," used in technologies like touch-screen displays that let users feel clicks.

#2: Doraphobia

What it is: The dread of touching the skin or fur of an animal.

Word history: The Greek word dora means "the skin or hide of an animal."

Bonus points: The root word dora comes from the Greek verb derein, meaning "to skin or to flay." This is also the source of derm, the Greek word for skin, which shows up in words like "dermatology".
   
#3: Eremophobia

What it is: The morbid dread of being alone.

Word history: The Greek word erēmia means desert (a place where there are no other people).

Bonus points: The word hermit shares the same Greek root, but a hermit may find solace rather than dread in solitude.

#4: Ergophobia

What it is: A fear of or aversion to work.

Word history: Ergon is the Greek word for work.

Bonus points: This word shows a family resemblance to the words ergonomic and ergometer.

#5: Hypnophobia

What it is: The morbid fear of sleep.

Word history: Hypnos is the Greek word for sleep.

Bonus points: Hypnotize is a word that shares the same Greek roots.

#6: Brontophobia

What it is: An abnormal fear of thunder.

Word history: Bronto is from the Greek word that means thunder.

Bonus points: The same root gives us the name of the brontosaurus (literally, "thunder lizard").

#7: Kakorrhaphiophobia
 
What it is: An abnormal fear of failure.

Word history: The Greek word kakorrhaphia means a clever or devious plot or plan, derived from kakos, meaning bad or evil.

Bonus points: The English word cacophony shares the same Greek roots.

#8: Coulrophobia

What it is: An abnormal fear of clowns.

Word history: Coulro- is Ancient Greek for 'one who goes on stilts'.

Bonus points: None.

#9: Taphephobia

What it is: Fear of being buried alive.

Word history: The Greek word taphē means burial or grave.

Bonus points: You can see the same Greek root in the English word epitaph (an inscription on a tomb).

#10: Phobophobia

What is is: An excessive fear of acquiring a phobia.

Word history: The Greek word phobos means "fear or flight."

Bonus points: When there's nothing left to fear but fear itself, this word is the perfect double whammy of the Greek word for fear.

Top 10 lists - Edward Cullen

Edward Cullen Top 10 -

The Pros :
1. incredibly gorgeous.
2. caring and protective.
3. has a sense of humor but is serious at all the right times
4. would rather have you leave him to be with another man if it was for your happiness.
5. would do anything to keep you safe.
6. gives you his most valuable keep sakes.
7. makes sure you know that you are all he thinks about and that he would find some way to die once you were gone.
8. lets face it, he is a vampire.
9. superhuman abilities and semi-immortal.
10. a girl's best friend, at least in the day

The Cons :
1. he is a bloodthirsty, bloodsucking vampire who might suddenly sink his fangs into you or your pet
2. he has been in high school for around 90 years, I mean how sad is that?
3. creepy - you might wake up one day in bed and find him staring at you
4. stone dead sense of humor - not punny at all
5. suicidal emo kid - might off himself if he thinks you kicked the bucket
6. he is pro-creationism, that should be reason enough
7. necrophilia
8. looks like a pencil through the heart might do him in
9. he is vegetarian
10. first time around, he was a hufflepuff student who got snuffed by lord voldemort